This morning I learned that my fathers trial for molesting my daughter has received a continuance.
My feeling could not be anymore mixed, but it took away some of the stress I was feeling as of late, and I know it will do the same for my daughter.
The combination of nearing the day that I would see my father again and for the first time since this all unfolded, as well as seeing my mother and siblings, who have stood by his side, has been eating away at me.
While the continuance itself has given me some relief, the reason for the continuance has answered a couple of questions that have been looming over me like a dark cloud, for quite some time.
Will my family do the right thing ? Or.. will they fight for my father to avoid justice?..adding insult to injury, by robbing my daughter of any possibility of closure, justice or healing.
I have honestly been dreading the answers.
They have had six month to think about what my father is facing, and the charges he is facing are extremely severe.
• Aggravated Sexual Battery by a Grandparent (1-20 years, up to $100,000 fine)
• Forcible Sodomy by force or threat on a victim 13+ (10-40 years, up to a $100,000)
• Object Sexual penetration (5 years- life in prison, up to $100,000 fine)
..and even though there are only three chargers, they all happened multiple times.
I have long realized, that with the amount of evidence against my father, and the severity of the charges, that he would have very few options for a defense. He would have to claim mental health issues, destroy my daughters credibility, or keep her from testifying all together.
It seems they are doing all of the above.
After grooming my daughter since she was 11 years old, after fondling her and secretly teaching her about sex since she was 12, after finally molesting, raping and sodomizing her at 16, my father’s defense is that what he did with my daughter was consensual , and my mother and siblings are standing by his side.
I have suspected that they were blaming my daughter for some time, based on a text my younger sister had sent me.
“..OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK WITHIN YOUR OWN HOUSE.”…my response is in blue.
I have never been more disappointed and ashamed of anyone in my life, than I am of my mother and siblings at this moment.
My mother, my sisters and my brother, believe that my daughter is to blame for my fathers actions. They believe my daughter is to blame for the manipulation, grooming , molestation and sexual assault of herself, that started when she was 11 and ended when she was 16, when she found the courage to tell a friend what had happened to her. Do they truly believe it is her fault?
For months I have defended my families bizarre re-actions and denial to my wife, as a form of shock, but there is no denying their intent anymore. They intend to prove in some way, that my daughter consented to my fathers abuse, and to do this, they intend to subpeona her Snapchat account as well as the 5 different Snapchat accounts my father used to contact her.
I already know will they will find, and some of it will be embarrassing for my daughter, but she has no reason to be ashamed, as my father was the architect of all of this.
No, what they will find be far worse than they can imagine, and it will condemn my father more than they know.
They will find that my daughter locked the door, and that my father sent her threatening messages using Snapchat, if she wouldn’t open it.
They will find that my father sent her lewd vulgar and disgusting text, as well as photos exposing himself.
They will find that my father threatened to tell her friends what was going on.
They will find that my father was planning to drug her, when we came there for a week at Christmas, so that could have his way with her.
They have opened Pandora’s box and they don’t even know it.
This will now become a legal game of chess, and the moves are going to get very tactical.
To reduce the charges against my father they have to attack my daughter, their grand daughter. If they embarrass and shame her enough, maybe we will withdraw charges, so she wouldn’t have to take the stand.
Do you know that almost all sexual abuse offenders who go free do so because someone didn’t take the stand?
But for better or worse, my daughter is just like me, and my family knows just what that means…
My daughter will have her day in court, she will tell her story for all to hear… To my father, my mother, my siblings, you will all hear the truth., and her mom and I, will be standing by her side, with unending love, support and absolute pride, in how courageous and strong she has become.
Nothing more, will be taken from this family by my father and he will bear the full weight of his crimes against my daughter.
We will lock arms, dig our heels deep into the ground and we will press forward. We will not give up a single inch, and we will not stop pushing forward until justice is completely and fully served.