What does justice look like?
On December 8th, when all of this started, justice looked much different to me than it does now.
Today, justice looks like this slow-moving machine, with missing gears, lumbering along on its last leg, leaving a mess of parts and greasy gunk in its wake.
If you have ever seen any of the popular TV crime dramas, you will be very disappointed. Nothing is neat, and nothing gets wrapped up in 45 minutes, without commercials.
Criminal justice is slow. It does not exist to serve the victim, it exists to serve the state. It is always more concerned with the well being and rights of the criminal…or at least that is how it feels.
Yes, there are all sorts of programs and assigned advocates for victims, and I have been thankful for what they have done for my daughter, but real information as to what is happening, is scarce. There are weeks without a word, months go by without any visible changes in status. In our case, it took nearly 6 weeks from the initial police report, before my father was even arrested.
For victims and their families, it is an unbearable waiting game.
And then you finally hear the charges…
To know, that 5 years of grooming, psychological abuse, control, manipulation, fondling, molestation, threats, extortion, coercion, and forced sodomy, can be reduced to 3 charges, is the definition of insanity to me.
To know, that over 30 physical acts of abuse against my daughter, in two different states, can be reduced to 3 charges, is an insult to my daughter and my family.
I know the 3 charges are severe, I know that each one carries a 5-40 year sentence, and my father will most likely die in prison.
But to me, my father is getting off easy.
Justice would be my father being charged with every thought, every spoken word and every act against my daughter.
Justice would be my father having to stand in front of my daughter and I, as every charge is read.
Justice would be having every one of my father’s family member in the courtroom, to hear the charges against him and my daughter’s testimony.
Justice looks very different to me today than it did 6 months ago, and even though I know what it looks like to me, it looks very different to my daughter, and it looks very different to my wife.
Eventually, I know we will have to reset our expectations, lower them, to match the reality of our criminal justice system.
A system that has been a slow and disappointing experience, a system that has a lot less to do with justice for victims, than you would think.